You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
