So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
