I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
