since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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