I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
I'm really busy with my period
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