Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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