If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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