cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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