I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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