Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
