Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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