Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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