did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
