Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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