The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
