It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
