So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
