We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
