You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
