Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
