Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
