I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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