Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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