Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
