Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize