I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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