i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
