Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
