No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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