I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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