He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
