i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
