Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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