He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize