NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
