Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
