We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
