And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
