Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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