Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
