Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize