I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
