Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize