There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
