Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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