I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
