check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize