we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
