I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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