the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
