I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
