he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
