I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I deserve this hangover.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
