I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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