fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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