I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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