Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
