There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
