she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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