I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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