just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
They are going to name an STD after you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
